Wednesday, December 25, 2013

100 By Christmas

Achieved! With ten hours to spare. Ride #100 of 2013 is now behind me.

35 F at 2:00, December 24, 2013, Lemonstar

Just a week ago it seemed inconceivable that two more rides would be possible. There was a foot of snow on the ground and waking temperatures hovered around zero. But by the day before Christmas, a melt-back had taken place and skies dawned clear, blue, bright, and radiant with sun.

However, as is often the pattern here in central Massachusetts, the bright morning sun gave way to the "high gauzies," an ashy thin cloud cover that dulled the sun's brightness and hid the blue sky. By 1:00 the sharpness of the day had given way to a skein of gray like the color of paper wasp nests. But the temps were above freezing, the roads, despite two prior days of Dickensian rain & drizzle, were dry, and Shad was ready to ride.

I headed west, into the hills, a Sholan Loop of Plenty.

Sholan Farm, December 24, 2013

There was little traffic. People were elsewhere. The dependable tarmac sliced across the landscape; past the apple trees, craggy and grasping; past the community garden with its old brittle sunflower stalk sentries, resigned in the cold; past the sign declaring Sholan Farm closed for the season; and into the forest and down the hill and further into the wilds of Sterling and Princeton.


Closed for the Season

There's a Norwegian adage that says "there's no bad weather, only bad clothing." I'd say, "only bad cycling clothes." Dressed properly, you stay warm and dry and there's no discomfort at all. Only bitter cold is hard to overcome. I've dressed well for most rides this year though I actually overdressed today and had to shed my bright orange windbreaker not long into the ride. Definitely a PBR day though.


Shad Rides 100, December 24, 2013, Lemonstar

All season biking for fun is one thing, but these folks in Colorado go to extremes, challenging themselves in the Icy Bike Winter Commuter Challenge. You really need the right gear to do this kind of thing, not to mention gumption, grit, and a streak of determined madness.

Instead, for me it's the solitude of the midday meander, the peace of steady rhythmic pedaling through the empty roadways in the hills beyond the city limits. The ride as meditation. The ride as a diamond razor. The ride as a declaration of Living and a metaphor of Being. The road continually unfolding ahead, beckoning, urging you onward, promising nothing that isn't already in your own imagination, that isn't already part of your own wisdom cache. The road delivers you to yourself.


Following the Road

2013 draws to a close. I began the year in pain, my bloated self a repository of residual angst, anger, and grief. I had no high hopes for the year; I merely hoped to avoid surgical procedures and hospital stays. And then something strange began to unfold. I made a commitment to myself to get better, to feel better, to change. I started to track what I ate at livestrong. I went to a Buddhist meditation retreat at Zen Mountain Monastery and learned to sit still. I lost 20 lbs. I began riding in earnest, with focus, with joy.

Now, at the end of my one hundredth ride of 2013, I am more than I was at the beginning of the year, but burdened with less baggage. Through cycling, I continue to learn who I am. Like bicycle wheels powered by determined legs, my life roles onward powered by a determined spirit.


Just Returned from Ride # 100
Eager for the Year to Come

Ride Stats: # 100, 24.64 miles (39 km), 12.9 mph, 1H 43M in the saddle. 35 degrees F to start, 33 at ride's end.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Ninety-Nine!

Bless the capricious New England weather. When I got up Tuesday morning, December 17, the temperature was .1 degree F (-17 C). It 'warmed' throughout the day, reaching almost 15 F (-9 C). But it snowed too. Heavily. By Tuesday night, 8 inches of snow of the finest kind - powdery, fluffy, granular, light as air - had fallen. Peering out and watching it snow, I admitted defeat in my goal of reaching 100 rides by Christmas.

Yet four days later, after shifting fronts, varying winds, warming trends, and two days of sustained temperatures above freezing, Saturday heats up to 55+ F (12+ C), a wan sun shines through the ashy clouds (they remind me of the clouds cover over the Somme or Verdun in 1916), and the roads are ice-free. Classic New England about face.

55 Degrees F, Good for Riding

To my delight. Ride # 99 is a gift unforeseen. And what a fine ride! Despite the sloppy & muddy crossing of rt. 2 and having to navigate a hell web of holiday mall traffic, when I'm on the other side of the maelstrom I am riding happily and all alone along little traffic'd back roads through semi-rural Lunenburg and my own home town. Not quite a PBR day (though I tucked the paper bag inside anyway), I'm almost too warm. It's fantastic.

Lemonstar, Not the Somme or Verdun

The Crust performs flawlessly. I've always loved Specialized bikes and this one is a joy to ride. Stable. Comfortable. Zippy. Responsive.

The one thing I don't have on the Crust, however, is a fender. So today, knowing that with the road side snow piles there'd be snow melt streams, I positioned a plastic shopping bag inside my tights, spreading it out to literally cover my ass. 'Ingenious!' I thought and it actually proved to be effective. I didn't get butt-soaked.

The other consideration besides watery run-off today (and for the next few months) is sand. It's a hazard and complete mindfulness is a must. Winter riding in these conditions means riding conservatively. Scrod's unfortunate crash last month proved to be a Zen cudgel, whacking me squarely in the Consciousness and reminding me to ride with focus and care.

Mindful Shad

Interestingly, before taking off on ride # 99, my beloved ND fairly pleaded with me not to go, telling me that she had a bad feeling about this ride and didn't want me to ride. She was straying into "manifest the occurrence of that which you fear" territory and I had to reassure her with casual bravado not to worry & that everything would be all right (even though her talk of danger had begun to spook me).

And in the end? Everything was fantastic! The wan sun. The empty melting sandy roadways. The snow depths shrinking in the woods and fields. Periodic blasts of cool air off the snow banks. Raw wet farm land. Picturesque town commons, church and town hall as white as the snow cover.

Shad's Hometown Commons, December 21, 2013
Ride Stats: Ride # 99, 24.95 miles (40 km), 14.2 mph, 1 hour 20 mins (more or less). Wet & sandy but fairly warm, 55+ degrees F.



Monday, December 16, 2013

Two Shy of 100

A dusting of snow earlier in the week foretold the likely end to riding this calendar year, and then a fairly serious snowstorm Saturday night, December 14th made it a certainty.

Sunday Morning Out My Front Door
Lemonstar, December 15, 2013

I won't manage to notch 100 rides in 2013 but that's okay. It's been a triumphant year in many ways not least of which is having learned how to lose weight and curtail my gluttonous maw. I'm ending the year 20 pounds lighter than I began it last January. This bodes well for 2014.

The key for the next couple months is to maintain focus & discipline. I want to be ready to go as soon as I can safely ride the roads again. There will surely be spotty opportunities in January or February, there almost always are each year. Yes, one year we had almost no snow and I was riding in bunches in January. Other years, when there's heavy snowfall, consistent riding may not happen until April. But there always seems to be one or two days in the winter months where the snow has melted back enough and the roads are no longer icy at the edges and it's reasonably safe to ride. But a couple rides scattered across 60-90 days doesn't cut it in terms of keeping in shape.

Life is a roll of the dice and weather is impersonal. The goal is to control one's own debauch through the cold, dark months and then emerge on the other side, in the spring, with enthusiasm and energy for the road.


Sunday, December 8, 2013

Freezing at Landmark Storage, Ride # 98

I wanted at least one ride this weekend and I got it, although it almost didn't happen. I squandered a chance to ride on Friday, a day I took off from work rather spontaneously (I had errands to do, food to procure, things that took precedent over riding). Plus, I thought it was going to rain but it turned out not to and the roads dried out and as I was driving toward Boston at midday, all hopes for changing plans scrapped, it was 50 degrees and overcast and utterly conducive to riding.

Then Friday night it began to rain and as the temperature dropped the rain became sleet and then finally snow in the early a.m. so that when I woke Saturday morning there was a white coating of snow over everything, and icy roads. I thought, 'Crap! I should have ridden yesterday and now I won't get to ride this weekend at all.'

Sunday Morning December 8, Lemonstar Starting Line

But then Sunday dawned clear and cold (24 F at 7:30 a.m.) and the thought began to grow in my mind that I might actually be able to ride today. I was fuzzy from whooping it up last night with guests & dinner but I thought that if anything could clear my mind and get me back on track it would be an icy winter ride. By 11:00 a.m. the temperature had climbed to 30 F so I suited up (long underwear bottoms, bike shorts, tights; upper body long underwear, a zip up short sleeve bike jersey, a polyprop turtleneck, a fleece pullover, a zip-up insulated over garment; 2 balaclavas; winter gloves; booties), and launched.

Landmark Storage, 32 Degrees

Oh, and I made the bike switch. It's the Crust now, from here on out. And how sweet! It's like riding in a luxury car, a Cadillac, a Lincoln Town Car. The wider tires cushion the harshness of the road; the gearing is perfect for climbing; the wide aluminum tubing and carbon fiber fork absorb road vibrations. And because of its durability and stability, you don't have to worry about your line when riding and when cars approach from behind; pot holes, cracks, sand, rough surface, the Crust handles it all, the tires are sturdy and the rims super strong, you can ride flush to the roadside and not be concerned with crashing or flatting out.

Leaving the 'hood

Route 2 Eastbound, Lancaster, MA
So ride # 98 unfolded with a meander through the 'hood en route out of town to the south (instead of west), climbing up and away from the local mall (long known as "Sears Town" to locals but re-dubbed "The Mall at Whitney Fields" by Orwellian developers), then a long climb out of Lemonstar toward Gove Farm and the road that parallels rt.2. in Lancaster. Cross rt. 2 and go on toward Shirley and past the gravel company. Dirty gray sky, like the loss of innocence.

Not breaking any speed records to be sure but speed isn't the point of these winter rides. Now, it's all about getting out and grabbing some road time while it's available. It's about standing up and riding with a steady rhythm up long hills; it's about spinning with focused attention and taking care and notice in every second; it's about burning calories and keeping the body lean.

In that sense, the ride is a triumph. I am warm (another ride for which I dressed perfectly; definitely a PBR). I am comfortable. There's a New England Patriots game on at 1:00 so the roads are mostly free of cars. The sun never comes out but does sullenly glare through the dingy cottony cloud cover. Visibility is good. The Crust is velvet-like, buttery, the chain slides over the chain rings in silence, I can stand and pedal and maintain a relentless low gear rhythm; I could grind uphill indefinitely, I can tap into the same rhythm that I established during the Assault on East Hill during the D2R2 this past August. It's a Zen-like confident turning of pedals and revolution of wheels; hard enough that the body knows it's working but not so hard that the body's energy diminishes in the effort. A comfortable relentless grind of savage pleasure. I will ride this way for hours (I think) ....

But I don't. Friends are coming for lunch in a couple hours, I have to get home and rub salt & pepper into the ribeye, have to trim the brussel sprouts, have to watch the Patriots game against the visiting Cleveland Browns. I have to live off the bike.

In the last couple miles I'm climbing up an old cracked and worn farm road toward a more major road that'll take me to a road with stoplights and a clear shot past the gas stations, the Jiffy Lube, Athens Pizza, Magic Fuels, the Hess Station (not Rudolph), over the Nashua River, back over rt. 2 again, through the lights to Priest St and then left onto Harrison St and home ... but before all that I pause along the roadside to gaze out across a big tract of farmland, a sullen sun trying to carve its way through a gray blanket sky. I would not be here to see this, I realize, if I weren't riding a bike.

A Sullen Sun and Sigh Lows

Ride Stats: Ride # 98, basically an hour; 14 mph, 14 miles, 60 minutes in the saddle; 32 degrees at departure, it never warmed up.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Charly Gaul and "The Rider"

Just finished Tim Krabbe's "The Rider," a book that the Mighty Scrod suggested we read together. Given that he finished the book over a week ago, that means that I'm the Lantern Rouge of this non-competitive collaborative effort.

Of many, many things I enjoyed about the book, one was coming across the role that Charly Gaul plays in it, Charly Gaul being one of the great climbers of all time. He died in 2005 and I made mail art from his New York Times obituary (which was written by the great cycling sportswriter, Samuel Abt).

Charly Gaul Obituary Mail Art, 2005, front

Charly Gaul, Obituary Mail Art, 2005, rear

Note to Scrod - will take up the discussion of "The Rider" on Ventoux Calls soon.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Ride # 97, Crust or No Crust

December in New England can be cruel - snowstorms, ice storms, freezing rain. But it can also be like it was two days ago for ride # 97, which is to say almost 50 degrees and mostly sunny. I took advantage of it and enjoyed a spirited 85 minute roust-about in the west Lemonstar & Sterling hills.

Into the Lemonstar Hills, December 3, 2013

I'd considered making the inevitable seasonal bike switch before the ride. In fact, I went so far as to switch my little saddle bag & blinking light to the Crust thinking that the time had come. But just as I was locking the door to set out, the sun came out in full late afternoon low slant warmth and irie light and I thought, fuck it, I'm staying with the road bike. I wanted the sleek arrow feel, I didn't want the whompy whir whir of wide tires on pavement. So I swapped the bag & light again, and also, enthused by the sun, shed one layer of upper body garb.

Sterling, MA, December 3, 2013

Turns out that taking the layer off was the right move but I might have been better served on the Crust. As soon as I started climbing into the hills, the roads became pretty sandy. D'oh! Just two days prior there'd been drizzly conditions that froze overnight and caused dangerously slick roads and the town DPW crews had been out sanding heavily. So for my purposes, I'd have surely been safer with a wider tire with some tread like those on the Crust. But nothing bad happened, I didn't crash, I was just extra cautious on some of the downhill cornering.


Sterling, MA,  Up Hill

Today, as I write, it's been raining, and tomorrow there's more rain in the forecast. Then it turns colder over the weekend, highs in the 30s, though mostly dry. If I'm going to make 100 rides by Christmas, I need to get at least one in this weekend.

Ride Stats: 19.59 miles (31 km), 14.1 mph, 1H 24M, some sun, mild. Tuesday, December 3.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Giving Thanks, Rides 95 and 96

That I was able to get out on Thanksgiving Day (for a solo ride) and the day after (with NJ Uncle Steve, he of the 68+ years and he of the 5000 miles ridden this year) is enough for a shouted THANKS to the powers that be - the Bike Gods, the Life Gods, the God Gods, the Ganesh and Krishna and Buddha Gods, whatever. I'm still riding this late in the year and as I scribe this blog entry it's December 1st and I almost managed to get the third ride of the Holiday break in today but today, alas, was cold & raw, 34 degrees, drizzling, a miserable, Dickensian downer of a raw Londonesque day. Instead of notching ride #97 and paring away a thousand calories, I noshed on cheese & crackers & Belgian ale and watched the New England Patriots come from behind (again) and win a football game.

But Thanksgiving Day was different, all the cooking was well in hand by 11:00 AM and voila, a window of sunny opportunity presented itself so I got my proverbial shit together and took to the road for an hour. Actually, for one hour and four minutes, enough to feel euphoric.

Pile of Garb

Shad with Bike, Giving Thanks

The Halfway Point, Thanksgiving Day Ride 2013

Thanksgiving Day, Ride # 96

The day after Thanksgiving dawned in brightness and sub-freezing temperatures. Uncle Steve (my beloved's Uncle, in town visiting Mama D, my mother-in-law) brought his bike with him. Steve is retired now and manages to log oh let's say 5000 miles per year en bicyclette. He is a mad man, a savage, though the predominance of his miles come from long group rides touring, a hundred miles a day of leisure-paced ambling to get from point A to point B in order to get up the next day and get to point C. That sort of thing. Which is not to take anything away from him. At 69, he could, if pressed, probably take me to school. Yes, I can drop him on one of the West Leo Hills but were it to come down to mile-to-mile, a question of dutiful distance, he would kick my ass. He's got the distance thing down. I'm constrained by lack of time. I simply don't have extended hours to put in on the bike. I've had to hone my riding fitness to the time trial style - a limited amount of time to ride means that I get out there and hammer.

It was just freezing (32 degrees F) when we left. Multiple layers. The paper bag. Now I categorize rides as PBRs or not. A PBR day is a Paper Bag Ride meaning that it's cold enough that stuffing a paper bag between your layers is well-advised. But we were both dressed properly and we were both comfortable. My fingers were chilled at the start but even they warmed up after the first spirited hill climb.

Of course we went west, into the hills. Fewer cars. Prettier. Safer. Besides, Uncle Steve hails from Elisabeth, NJ, not exactly the most sylvan riding terrain, so when he comes up here to Lemonstar I feel it incumbent upon me to take him into the real Massachusetts countryside. So we did a Sholan Loop with the added section of Tuttle Rd (a wonderful extension of farmland and back country riding). And it was great. Sharp. A pristine day of air clarity. A good day to log some miles. And when we returned, turkey sandwiches. Allez!

Shad and Uncle Steve

Shadow Shad

Now the raw ending of the holiday weekend slides down upon me this Sunday night, a wretched icy froth in Lemonstar, the cold unpleasant reality of work tomorrow, a thousand losses, one hundred deaths by ennui, a cradle of plenty and a footlocker of loss. There are plateaus and peaks, valleys and troughs. There is the run to the Sun and the dismantling of one's self-respect. There are decisions to be made, limited resources, meat haunches to cook, bottles of empty promises to consume. There is the debauch of living larded with the lean fat of spiritual awakening. 

Each ride is a raw accomplishment. I give thanks for that. If I have moved my debased self over 15 miles on the thinnest of rubber tires, then I have moved my Self forward. I have avowed to Live and have fulfilled the promise of Life for another day.

Ride Stats: # 95, 14.7 miles, 13.6 mph, 1 H 4 M, 32 degrees.
                   # 96 22.19 miles, 13.6 mph, 1.39.17, 32 degrees and less. Both days sunny.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Drumlin Ramble, Ride # 94

A drumlin, according to one online dictionary, is "a long, narrow or oval, smoothly rounded hill of unstratified glacial drift." Fair enough.

There's one in nearby Lancaster at the base of George Hill Rd and across from the campus of what was once the Atlantic Union College. Called the Dexter Drumlin, the huge graceful mound swells upward like an earthen great blue whale.

The Drumlin
I like to ride by there from time to time. Any ride that takes in the Dexter Drumlin I call a Drumlin Ramble. Ride #94 on a sunny, not exactly warm, but bright Saturday afternoon was one such ramble.

Earlier in the year, maybe late April, I'd ridden the Crust over there and ridden right up to the top and, though it's a very gradual slope and doesn't appear, from the base, to be that high, from the top the view is sweeping and far. This time, though, on my road bike, I contented myself with a view from the base.

As I type this entry a day after the ride, I'm looking out on a covering of snow that came overnight. And, it's 21 degrees F outside and blustery. It may warm up some this week and rain but seeing the snow cover this morning suggests to me that I may not manage another six rides before Christmas. Nevertheless, on yesterday's Drumlin Ramble I was dressed perfectly so wasn't cold at all and didn't mind, for example, slogging into a head wind across the wind open expanse of farmland that takes you over the hill and into the town of Sterling.

The shaggy Scottish Highland cattle didn't seemed perturbed by the gusts or chill either and grazed without looking up to acknowledge my shouted "bonjour!"s.

Farm of the Scottish Highlanders

Heading Toward Sterling
The gusty wind combined with a lot of climbing (a Drumlin Ramble, like a Sholan Loop, takes me west of Lemonstar and into hill country), made for a slow average speed (just about 14 mph). About three quarters of the way through the ride, I started to get chilled; not badly, but my fingers got pretty numb. No surprise why; I checked the temperature after returning and it had fallen to 36 F.

 Ride Stats: Ride # 94, 28 miles (45 km), 14 mph, 2 hours in the saddle. 44 degrees to start and 36 degrees at ride's end.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Chick-a-dees and Letting Go, Ride # 93

I ride alone. Probably 95% of my rides are solo. That's partly due to circumstance and partly due to choice. Riding alone affords time for reflection, introspection; it's a turning inward powered by repetitive pedal strokes. The meditation is to stay present & mindful in the Riding Moment while at the same time allowing the mind to free flow. One can achieve a sort of physical humming presence of Moment while also meandering through ideas, reflections, and mental landscapes past and present.

Today I rode to the nearby town of Shirley, to the house in which I grew up and where my father was living alone in May 2012 when he passed away. No one has lived in the house since. Yet I pay a neighbor to keep the yard properly mowed, to park a car in the driveway to suggest occupation, to keep an eye on things. My father's estate is still not officially closed after all this time so no decision has been made nor action taken on disposal of the house and accompanying 15 acres of land.

Shad Head & the House, 11/21/13
One thing is certain - I won't ever live in the house again. And yet, despite the logic of letting go and moving on, of transforming the structure and land into money (a tool that can be used to get along in this culture), I ponder schemes that would allow me to hold onto some if not all of the property. There are 15 acres at stake, mostly woods with hemlocks and white pines and some hardwood (old maple trees, younger oaks), also a beaver pond and a swampy area. Most of it isn't suited to development. I think of donating it to conservation but retaining the deed; I think of carving out a couple acres with the old stone wall as a border and keeping it, maybe building a meditation hut on it.

In the long I should just sell it and be done with it. But not yet.

Instead, I ride over there in the late afternoon, it's about ten miles one way, and what do I do? I fill the bird feeders with sunflower seeds. Yes, nearly 18 months after my father died, I'm still feeding the birds. And they are plentiful. Chick-a-dees mostly but also titmice and nuthatches and blue jays and cardinals. I stand still next to the feeders in the gnarled old French lilac bush and the birds' wings hum and whir around me. I delight in their enthusiastic and frenetic darting and feeding.

I realize that I'm sentimental and attached to the damn songbirds!

This I contemplate on the ride back to Lemonstar. I wonder where this quality in me came from, this deep well of sentiment and empathy (some might say pathological sentiment and empathy). It's as if I cannot distinguish between one type of sentient being and another. I grieve for them all, I celebrate them all, I feel responsible for them all. I meditate on this riding back and try to get out of the trap. What would the Zen Master in Zen Mountain Monastery say?

Shad Blur in Ventoux Yellow, Backyard

I also think about what my good friend Mawgz emailed me a couple days ago when we were discussing this very thing, the process of letting go (or not being able to), the reality of Loss and aging and transformation and how it all can weigh on you. He shared a proverb which I paraphrase:

It is a foolish man that trips over something behind him.

It occurred to me with a flash of recognition that I am a foolish man, one who quite easily stumbles.

The house, the birds, the fantasy of small and large mammals living in bucolic harmony in the woods I once roamed, these are my trip wires.

The ride is beautiful but I'm a little later than I want to be getting back to Lemonstar, it's starting to be darker than is safe (despite my rear blinking light and my bright yellow jersey, a gift from Scrod and his triumph at Mont Ventoux). Nevertheless, I pause at the top of the hill by Gove Farm and look down the slope of the last apple orchard in the birthplace of Johnny Appleseed and take in the sunset.

I was strong in the saddle today. The bike rode like velvet; soft and silent.

Sunset over Lemonstar

Ride Stats: Ride # 93. 23.26 miles (37 km), 15.2 mph, 1 hour 31 minutes approx. Temperature in the low 50s; sunny at the start but the sky clouded over as evening approached.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Lemonstar to Lunenburg to Shirley, Ride # 92

Blustery. Wind rush, leaf swirl. Why is wind so much louder when it's cold out? A clear day, sun bright, sharp. A full layer day, booties to boot.
Shad Rides

It's that great time of year in New England when the afternoon light is frequently dramatic - huge pure skies with puffy pink clouds, or milky blue canopy dome of deep infinity; and the countryside awash in creamy buttery yellow sun-sink. And purple, there is always purple in there at some point.

Time after work to ride through Lunenburg and to nearby Shirley, loop through that old town with its classic New England town commons, then back to Lemonstar. At mid-afternoon there is little traffic on the roads and so the ride is pleasant. I feel good and pedal like a gazelle running (I imagine), I fly over newly paved roads with a muted whir.

Shirley Center Town Commons, Nov. 19, 2013
Lemonstar
Late Afternoon, Nov. 19, 2013
Ride Stats: Ride # 92, 21.82 miles (33 km), 15.2 mph, 83+ minutes, sunny bright day but really windy!

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Ride # 91 in the Gloaming

Gray day, barely warm. Not warm really. But I spent two hours before riding in the backyard raking leaves, cutting back plants & shrubs, bagging yard waste. With a bonfire to boot. So by the time I set off on ride number 91 I was plenty warm (though I still layered my front with a brown paper bag). A completely gray & rain-threatening afternoon. Dubious. Beautiful. Somber. Like a World War I battlefield. The jaundiced gray gloaming of Ypres, the Somme.

Once on the other side of West St and climbing into the hills, I'm all alone. The gloaming countryside. Crow caw. Stone walls piled centuries ago disappearing into hardwood forest. A reservoir for the town of Lemonstar. The bike is silent, riding smooth and fast today. I imagine myself as light as possible. Descending one of the hills coming home, I make myself horizontal and imagine an arrow, a feathered flyer. I see myself soaring. It's like flight. I am an arrow let fly by Jah.

Shad Rides, Number 91

Ride stats: 58 minutes, 14.6 miles. 47 degrees. Sholan Loop. November 17, 2013.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Ride # 90

The ninetieth ride of 2013. Saturday. Another warm November day, again almost 60 degrees. Fantastic. But it's another wedge-it-in ride because riding is only one facet of Saturday. Though ultimately our plans to go into Boston and eat lunch at Neptune's Oysters, and for ND to go to the movies, and for me to go to the Boston Antiquarian Book Fair in search of Harry Crosby volumes, all get changed, I ride with that whole scenario still in the offing. Which means I have a time frame and a time constraint and so ride with focus and an eye on the computer for time elapsed.

Tuttle Rd., November 16, 2013
Ultimately, we end up not going to Boston, not going to the Book Fair, not doing any of the things that, pre-ride, had been the determinants of this ride's limits. In other words, I coulda' done a giant ride on this gorgeous sunny Saturday!

Philosophically-speaking, the "I coulda' done ..." phrase is loaded with angst. Its meaning hangs on regret. What a burden! As an exercise in self-awareness and self-determination, notice how often you say (or think) "I coulda' ..."

So actually, what I mean to convey is that I had a terrific 19 mile ride on a beautiful November morning/afternoon and the rest of the day unfolded, not as planned, but as occurred, and it was all giant.

Ride stats: 19.34 miles (31 km), 15.2 mph, 1 hour 17 minutes in the saddle.

Stolen Moments, Ride # 89

A ride that wasn't foreseen, happened. It hadn't been in the cards. Other plans were made. But then suddenly on a Thursday afternoon I was looking at a free hour and the weather was warm and sunny and I had no choice really but to seize the opportunity and rush off for a mini Sholan Loop and ride number 89.

Shad Rides, #89
Ride Stats: #89, 14.3 miles (23 km), 14.6 mph, 59.25 minutes in the saddle. Close to 60 degrees. What a difference from Tuesday's snow-dusted hills.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

A Dusting in the Hills

Shad with a Dusting, November 12, 2013
And suddenly it is COLD. 34 degrees when I set out. It was probably silly to ride today, certainly unnecessary, this is the fifth consecutive day riding. I haven't managed to do that in years. But the cycling cosmos seemed to line up this weekend and today, well, I had a choice but I didn't have a choice. What I had was the afternoon off from work in advance of a late-day dentist appointment and, while it had spit rain and sleet overnight, by noon the roads were dry and there was no precipitation to be seen.

So I had to ride.

But it was cold. And gray. No real sun.

Again the paper bag in the jersey. Today, multiple layers. Long underwear leggings & tights. Booties. Full hoodie. Winter gloves with liners. Five upper body garments (+ bag). And I was warm. Truly. Completely comfortable the entire ride.

I'd questioned my decision-making upon setting out but after only a couple miles out I realized that I nailed the clothing test and I'd be fine for the duration. For a brief mad moment I considered trying to rush up Wachusett again, but thought better of it.

Turns out the rain and sleet in Lemonstar proved to be more substantial in the western hills. Not exactly an accumulation but a white shroud over everything evoked the colder, harsher days to come. Reminded me that, while the streets may be clear in the lower elevations, as soon as you start climbing into the hills west of town, even a little elevation makes a difference.

November 12, 2013 in the Western Hills
Once you develop serious momentum, once you cobble together a string of rides, once you start to achieve a level of fitness that allows for longer rides, then you can no longer control yourself. Riding becomes the paramount concern on a daily basis. Will I have time to ride? Will the weather be good for riding? Will the light last long enough for an after work ride? It becomes all about putting miles under the wheels.

Not to mention the single-mindedness born of successful weight loss. Every bite becomes considered, every meal evaluated for calories. Snacking is anathema. Losing weight becomes a competition with yourself. Beer acceptable only on riding days. Ice cream a seldom treat. Embrace of fresh greens, crispy apples, raw nuts, yogurt and berries. Being the correct weight for one's height is incredibly empowering. How did I allow myself to grow so heavy for so many years? Easy, actually. I've never had a problem eating more than I need. Gluttony was once a badge of honor.

These are different days now. These are days of physical and mental challenges. Moderation in consumption, excess in exercise. Compulsive movement. Winter threatens. I'll be off the bike for weeks at a stretch. I dread the thought of re-gaining even 5 lbs. I haven't even whispered at 150 lbs since early in September. Incredibly enough, back when overeating was routine, I thought of my "riding weight" as 160 lbs. As in, I thought I was "in shape" if I managed to get down to 160. Now? If I "balloon up" to 150, I'll be mortified.

I'll always remember reading a piece about Lance Armstrong. Someone asked him how you can be a better climber. His answer was simple: lose weight. Either body weight or bike weight or both but you'll climb better when you're lighter. I've learned that that is absolutely true. Lance didn't lie about that, at least.

The View from Ride # 88
Ride Stats: #88, 17.9 miles (28 km), 12.5 mph, 1 hour 24 minutes in the saddle. Temp approximately 33 degrees. Sholan Loop. A dusting of snow in the hills.

Last Climb up Mt. Wachusett for this Year

Summit of Mt. Wachusett, Nov. 11, 2013
Sharp, clear, cold. Veteran's Day morning, on the bike by 9:30. The weather report had indicated a sunny morning and a cloudy afternoon so it behooved me to get out early. Surprisingly mild at that early hour, low 50s. Still, I didn't take chances and stuffed a paper grocery bag between my layers. Seems a simple thing but it works remarkably well.

Destination? The summit of Mt. Wachusett. Very likely the last time this year. It used to be that I'd make the climb once, maybe twice a season. This year has been different. Once I pared away 10 lbs, then 15 lbs, then 20 lbs, climbing Wachusett became less of an epic struggle and more of a routine ride, albeit still a solid work out. In fact, the climbing required just to get to the base of the mountain is, arguably, more difficult than the actual road up from the park headquarters. At least the road to the summit is varied; there are even a few sections that level off or slope downward briefly. Getting to the mountain, though, is nearly all climbing ... and it starts even in the first neighborhood getting out of town.

It's been a great few days with plenty of riding and a surfeit of fine food at journey's end. The only dark cloud has been the news of the Scrod's crash in Frankfurt. The first-you're-alright-and-then-you're-crashing reality of cycling weighs a bit more heavily today; I try to be Zen-like mindful, though it's difficult. Like meditating, I always have to bring myself back to a place of focus; I have to consciously bring myself back to the moment in order to be IN the moment. Daydreaming while riding is desperately dangerous.

Shad Rides Near the Summit
But I made it to the top without incident, then whizzed back down (grateful for the paper bag in my jersey). The sky remained blue and the sun remained shining ... but I didn't see another cyclist.

Summit, with Berries and My Ride
Ride Stats: Ride #87. 27 miles (43 km), 13 mph, 2 hours 4 minutes in the saddle, approximately 9:30 am to 11:30 am. Mid 50s temperature.




Monday, November 11, 2013

Two Beeches and a Crash in Germany

I probably could have taken the day off in good conscience given the epic ride yesterday on the dirt roads and rutted byways of Orange and New Salem, but I didn't. It's November, it was Sunday on Veteran's Day weekend and the weather was reasonably mild and the sun was visible. The Opportunity to ride was there, so I seized it.

But not a big ride, just a normal, I-have-limited-time ride, a Sholan Loop of a ride, what turned out to be 17.11 miles (27 km) of spinning under fair conditions.

Leaving from my doorstep, I have basically two options. If I ride east, out the near side of town, the roads are mostly rolling without many significant climbs. However, they are also busy roads with a lot of town-to-town traffic. If I roll west, out the far side of town, the roads are emptier but steeper. Everything to the west is hilly and to ride that direction means a good deal of climbing. The Sholan Loop, for example, is essentially a series of climbs (though the return trip home is mostly downhill).

Two Beech Trees on the Way of of Town
I opt for a western venture today. That means I work my way through a couple neighborhoods and pass by a number of old resident trees, majestic beings like these two huge old beech trees. Certainly one of the joys of long range cycling is encountering trees. Beech trees in particular delight me and a few gray-trunked behemoths tower over some of the older, more established neighborhoods in Lemonstar.

West Rd is the last hurtle before free-sailing. It's a major thoroughfare, usually busy, and often requires patience to cross it. I'm not a skilled stand-upright-on-the-bike-and-wait kind of cyclist but I have learned not to react hastily at these types of crossings. The key, I've found, is to approach slowly, try to gauge both directions, and maintain balance as long as possible. Often enough I find that a break will open at just the right time before I have to unclip from the pedals and bring foot to ground. So it goes today. The approach, the caution, the deliberation, the steadiness, then a quick burst of pedal power and I'm across and zooming across the little bridge over the reservoir drainage creek, clear sailing.

West of Lemonstar
Balmier today. Sunday morning. Few cars. I feel surprisingly fresh given yesterday's undertaking. But there's no point in making it more than it is - an hour or so spinning to keep loose and burn some calories, to stay connected to the revolving wheels and empty the mind of its preoccupations and concerns. A ride like today's is therapeutic, like a rolling meditation, like a sauna, a cleansing. The body hums, the mind calms down, the senses receive.

The day is marred, however, by a text message I receive an hour or so after returning from an uneventful ride. It's from Scrod in Germany and reads:

Cher lescaret, dear bro, greetings from a hospital bed, bad fall today crossing tram tracks in cold light rain, bike just flew off to the right and I landed hard on my left hip, breaking the femur below the ball. Op is over and I am feeling much better. Prospects good.

A terrible development! Subsequent texts reveal the whole tragic accident, the hard crash, the ambulance, the bystander who dragged Scrod's bike off the tracks before an incoming trolley drove over it. Surgery. Five days in hospital. And the long recovery.

I try to imagine his state of mind by imagining my own in such circumstances. Bleak, surely, discouraged, pitiable. How even conceive of recovery? Doubly discouraging simply because Scrod has worked incredibly hard to get in the best physical condition of his adult life. Now, the temptation will be to consume Garibaldi's like pain pills, consoling himself with a victim's right-to-binge. It's a good thing the Scrod has been sober for decades else the bottle might prove a strong allure. I, surely, would seek respite in strong drink, in the irie meditation, in all the pharmaceutical candies the medical team would dare prescribe. I am not good with setbacks.

We must generate positive vibes and send them to the Mighty Scrod whose fin may be broken but whose spine, I know, is intact. The Scrod will ride again. And if even one tiny iota of good luck can be scraped out of this dark moment it is that winter is nigh and riding season all but over.

Dear Scrod, you will not have to peer nervously out your office window wondering whether the rain will hold off, whether the snow will abate, whether the temperatures will rise enough to allow a late afternoon ride. Your sole task now is to HEAL. To lay prone and read. To scribe Ventoux Calls with quiet ruminations and mental meanderings. To vow to yourself that you will rise again. Remember what you've proven in this transitional year - that you can train hard, hone your body, and scale the Giant of Provence. Next year you will resume your Quixotic odyssey à vélo.


Ride Stats: #86; 17.11 miles, 14.1 mph, 1 hour 11 minutes. Mid 50s, damp pavement, some mild sun.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Lake Mattawa and the Hills of Orange, Wendell, and New Salem

The Virginian and I have been eyeing this weekend for a month or so, I figured it might be one of the last opportunities to get out for a massive ride. I'd hoped for an end-of-the-year century but that proved to be beyond our scope, mostly for time reasons (no matter how finely conditioned we are, 100 miles would still take a good eight hours of cycling to accomplish and with the weather now cold and the length of daylight abbreviated, a century at this point in the year is out of our reach).

Moosehorn Road, New Salem
Instead of a road century, we opted for dirt roads and forest paths in the hills of Orange, New Salem, Wendell, Shutesbury, Montague. Instead of the graphite arrow (my road bike), I turned to the Crust (first time since the D2R2 in August). These choices proved propitious and while we ended up covering 'only' 47.70 miles (76 km), they were rugged, exhilarating, challenging miles on roads largely bereft of traffic and through forests on what I imagined to be old colonial cart paths. I half expected to come across an old rickety dray loaded down with cider apples, a stubborn mule paused in the ruts.

The Virginian (aka Benzoid or the Benster from Ventoux Calls) is a decades-long riding partner. We started out on mountain bikes back in the early 1990s but then were swept up in the tsunami of Lance and switched to road riding around 1999. I've been a pavement devotee ever since. And yet now the Crust, with its more rugged frame and slightly beefier tires, opens up a new variety of riding. Not exactly mountain biking (i.e., no single track, no crazy technical rock/root/downhill/uphill madness) but not just road-riding, the Crust is the perfect bike for the kind of byways and opportunities one finds in the lesser populated regions of central and central-west Massachusetts. Plus, with autumn conditions making the roadways a little more perilous (blowing wet leaves, roadside debris), the Crust offers the comfort of rugged dependability.

The Virginian
So the Virginian and I met at Lake Mattawa in Orange. The temperature stood around 40 degrees (4 c) and the sky was steely gray and overcast when we set out. It's all hills and woods and small scruffy roads through this swath of the state, even the pavement roads are back country and rough and little traveled. And there's plenty of climbing. Back in our mountain biking days, I'd written "Ride to Climb" on my helmet, I was relatively light back then, not much more than 150 lbs, and I was, indeed, a fine climber and a decent bike handler; I could stay upright while climbing a single track path all rooty and bouldery. Being small was good.

Since those days, I aged and puffed up, taking an office job and gaining 10, 15, 20 pounds. I almost got old. Finally, earlier this year at a Zen meditation retreat it occurred to me that something had to change, that I had to shed the poundage that I'd accumulated in the previous two decades, that I had to re-orient the glutton within and become literally less than I was. So, from April 1st I've been consciously tracking my calorie consumption and actively trying to carve away the bloated excess that'd gradually formed on my once-sinewy frame. I was like a farm-raised salmon at the beginning of the year, an embarrassment to the sleek, silvery, aquatic arrow of a shad that might still exist beneath my suet rolls.

Shad Rides
Blessedly, I was right. The shad lives. Since that April 1st reckoning when I tipped the scale at 169 lbs (76 kg), I have melted it all away so that now, November, nine months later, pedaling aside the Virginian up the first steep hill of the day, I'm lighter than I was back in our mountain biking heyday, back in my early 30s. This morning I tipped the scale at 145.5 lbs (65 km), a quicksilver dart of a shad, a shad with a second life, an anadromous sliver of scale and fin returning to familiar spawning grounds.

Once again, I can climb. Perhaps not race speed climb, but climb doggedly, surely, inexorably. Without stiff log legs or the gasp-breath lung burn. Once again, climbing is a focused, Zen-informed practice of pedal-turning. In fact, the front wheel of my road bike is a Mavic and on the hub is a yellow Mavic sticker. When out of the saddle on a lengthy climb, I focus on the Mavic sticker turning turning turning (if it were a songbird it would be the "revolving yellow mavic") and forget all else but the turning of the pedals and the consistent revolution of the yellow hub. Trance-like.

Up Chestnut Hill Rd, passed the steep fields where the annual garlic and arts festival takes place, the pavement ends and we're on packed dirt, more climbing, more Chestnut Hill Rd. (there are "Chestnut Hill" roads in every town out here suggesting how extensive the chestnut trees were 100 or 200 years ago; there are few left today).

Then it's off the packed dirt and onto Mt. Mineral Rd and right onto New Boston Rd, a road that, by its name, might suggest some importance but which is, actually, a nearly abandoned track through deep woods. It's kept clear by, perhaps, cross country skiers and snowmobilers, perhaps hunters or mountain bikers. The trees are close overhead, great numbers of hemlocks spread out up the slopes on either side, the road for a while follows a stream so it's fairly flat for a ways following along the water way, and interspersed with the hemlocks and white pines are great old hardwoods, maples and oaks, remnants, perhaps, from colonial days.

New Boston Rd Heading South

New Boston Rd Looking Back North
For long stretches at a time we ride single file, the Virginian usually leading the way. I pay close attention to my pedaling, to the road and its pitfalls and obstacles; but I also drift off in fantasy. November in New England conjures images of Bruegel the Elder and his fantastic Dutch landscapes and peasant imagery from the 1500s - somber, smokey fields, dun hillsides, gnarled tree trunks, huddled villages, burghers wrapped in woolen cloaks, pottery jugs, clay pipes, swaths of browns, ochres, russets, burnished oranges, carts and casks. I delight my imagination by disappearing into the past. I escape the wrath of Phillip II's soldiers, I'm a rebel peasant under the sway of William of Orange, we will rout the occupiers and regain the Low Countries and celebrate with overflowing milk pails, with jugged hare, with salted herring and potatoes roasted in fire embers.

A Forest Road
It goes on like this for hours. We stop to consult the map periodically. It's been years since we've ridden these roads. We emerge onto pavement and then launch off again onto dirt. Eventually we climb out of North Amherst and head up East Chestnut Hill Rd. in Montague and stop for a visit at Hotar's abode, Hotar like the character from a Norse Epic; bearded, burly, welcoming, once-upon-a-time a very committed cyclist but these days now more of a farmer philosopher and loyal companion. We warm up in his kitchen, even imbibe a tipple of cognac, eat an energy bar, and then re-mount the steads for the last hour.

We've breached the arcing pivot of the loop and we begin the return, much of which is downhill. I'm chilled now after sitting, my inner layers damp. To stave off the incipient cold of the return journey, I stuff a folded paper grocery bag inside my wool jersey (Hotar didn't happen to have any old copies of L'equipe or I would have used that). It works! The thick paper bag traps the warmth from my torso inside my layers and at the same time blocks the wind buffeting my chest. And I'm warm again.

The light grows wan. We zoom down long slopes from the center of Wendell, back toward the cars parked beside Lake Mattawa, back to the 21st century.



Ride Stats: Ride #85, 47.70 miles (76 km), 12.5 mph (20 kph), 3 hours 47 minutes in the saddle. Saturday, November 9th, 11:30 am to 4:00 pm all told.