Hugo and the Tour

Hugo and the Tour 2017

The big hairy Viking cat named Huguenot Torte, or just plain Hugo, or even, in the vernacular, The Monster (because he has unequivocally been determined to be a Love Monster), has here climbed into my lap and settled down to watch the Tour de France with me and discuss the various nuances, controversies, and twists & turns that have made this year's Grand Boucle so far; the Sagan/Cavendish imbroglio (Hugo is in Sagan's camp on that one), the brute Nacer Bohnanni and his innate villainy, Aru's attack mentality, the annual disappointment of the Colombian Enigma, Nairo (rhymes with Cairo) Quintana, whether anyone can beat Marcel Kittel in a sprint, the great job the NBC broadcast team is doing (Phil, Paul, Bobke, Christian V, the Mighty Jens Voight, the hapless Steve Porino, the intrepid Steve Schlanger, and the anchor, a classic strong-jawed American sportscaster with a deep voice and an air of avuncular security whose name I cannot remember). Hugo, as it turns out, is an aficionado of the Grand Tours in general but the mighty French leg in particular. Being something of a gourmond, he's asking for escargot tonight instead of the organic duck in beef gravy or the rabbit pate that he's used to. Poor Hugo. We have no escargot.